Sarah Palin as John McCain’s Fvorite Daughter

        Distancing himself from the Bush administration, McCain proclaimed that his White House would not operate under the umbrella of secrecy of the current administration. He pledged a McCain White House would cooperate with congressional investigations, not conceal information or claim executive privilege as casually as the Bush White House. So what’s up with his response to Sarah Palin? Why isn’t he insisting she return to Alaska and to clean up Troopergate?

As I look at the relationship between McCain and Palin from the point of view of someone who has studied and treated favorite children, I see a relationship that echoes that of a father and his favorite daughter.           

A favorite daughter knows how to make her father feel good. She gives him something special, something he needs, something no one else does. In return, this daughter gets special privileges. She isn’t held accountable the way that her father holds others accountable. In this exchange, her morals – her sense of right and wrong – can be compromised. This describes the relationship between Sarah Palin and John McCain.

Having selected Sarah Palin as his running mate, McCain selected a partner who stirred enthusiasm among voters. This young and energetic former beauty queen excited crowds that this older man, body stiffened from war injuries, could not. Palin, in return, had the opportunity to be the first female vice-president of the United States, her career catapulted beyond imagination. This woman, with conservative views, challenged traditional views associated with feminism and has became a symbol  that profoundly impacts the feminist movement.

As Palin introduces McCain to rousing crowds, he smiles from ear to ear, his delight transparent. She loosens up audiences who translate their enthusiasm to support for the McCain/Palin ticket. Like a father’s favorite daughter, Palin is masterful at contributing to McCain’s good feelings about  himself. And, in return, this “favorite daughter” is rewarded by not being held accountable to rules.

As governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin is being investigated for unlawful influence over state trooper firings, the possible scandal named Troopergate. If McCain were to hold her accountable for her behavior – reflecting his campaign promise that people in his administration would be held responsible for their actions – he would insist that she, her husband, and her staff cooperate fully with the state investigation. McCain would not tolerate Palin, or any of her associates, stone walling or impeding the investigation.

Rather, collusion, born out of this special relationship between McCain and Palin, continues. In exchange for making McCain feel good, Palin is not held accountable by him for her questionable behavior. Presumably, other staff in a McCain White House will be held to higher standards.

John McCain, Another favorite child runs for president!

During the Republican Convention, I watched the screen as Roberta McCain, the bright and articulate ninety six year old mother of the Republican Presidential Candidate spoke of her son with an enormous smile across her face. The message was: Johnny was always special.

As a therapist who has studied many favorite sons and daughters, it’s clear to me that John McCain possesses so many of the traits of a child who grew up as his mother’s favorite and  without a father actively engaged in his life to counter balance  this special status. He follows in the path of George Bush and Bill Clinton., and other powerful leaders who think it OK to spin the truth – as Clinton did during the Monica Lewinsky scandal; and to push boundaries – as Bush did in condoning illegal activities occurring during his administration. Favorite children learn how to evade accountability for their questionable behaviors.

John McCain, named after two four star admirals, his father and grandfather, followed in the footsteps of these great men, just as a favorite is expected to do. However, as he went along with the drill, he also found his own way to push the boundaries—as many favorites do—getting away with behaviors that siblings may not have been able to, and learning the dangerous lesson that they can bend the rules and even alter the truth.

John McCain graduated at the bottom of his class at the naval academy getting into all kinds of trouble. At the Academy he learned there are consequences for not following the rules, and acknowledges that his demerits were off the charts. After graduation, he  became a pilot who flew fast planes and lived life on the fast track. Again he pushed limits to the extreme.

During his acceptance speech at the convention, McCain talked about having been a prisoner of war. It was that dramatic experience that taught him to take responsibility more seriously, to behave with more integrity.

Growing up as the anointed child, John McCain, learned about power and leadership. He also learned about pushing boundaries and getting away with unacceptable behaviors. His training at the naval academy held him accountable for breaking the rules but the lessons did not solidify until after he had been a prisoner of war. As a possible president of the United States, we have to hope that he learned well the lesson of moral leadership and will not succumb to the pitfalls of having grown up a favorite child.